I've worked incredibly hard this month at being both injured and ill. My body has fought for a healthy balance between being broken and infected and has really done rather well. I rounded off January with a nasty bout of flu. Not the recurring man flu that I have been unable to shift for the past two months but a proper bout of my-body-and-mind-hurt-so much-i-cannot-move-an-inch type of flu. For the last couple of days I have laid prone in bed or on the sofa, so ill that I couldn't even read the text on my blackberry, let alone get out and exercise. It has rounded off what has been, without a doubt, the worst month of training I have had since I developed a Mars Bar addiction age 14. Not like that, just eating them. And all this since the idea crossed my mind to enter, and subsequently qualify for, the Ultra Trail Du Mont Blanc. It wasn't really what I had in mind when I enterred the race. Well, to be honest I was drunk when I decided to enter the race, so really all I had on my mind, other than trying to run 100 miles in one go, was a large mixed Ebineezers Kebab.
I mentioned I had enterred a whole host of local races to kickstart my build up to the big one and this weekend I missed yet another of those. Hong Kong's 50k Greenpower Hike. The Hong Kong trail is 50k long and winds from Victoria Peak around the contours of the island, finishing at a pleasant little beach towards the far east of the island. Due to its convenience it has become a home from home to me over the last couple of years and I was really disappointed not to be able to take part. As well as my knowledge of the trail, another reason I like the race is the name they give to anyone who finishes under 6 hours. This was to be my first year as a 'great hiker'. I've never been called a great anything before when it come to running, (well I have, but great plonker just isn't the same), so I'll have to requalify next year in order to race my first Greenpower as a great hiker in 2013.
I've decided that after this ordeal I may pursue a new career as an unofficial pharmacist. No, not a drug dealer, but maybe I'll start some sort of herbalist cult. I am now taking, in no particular order: Effervescent Vitamin C 1000mg 3 x day. Eccinacea 2x Day, Ventolin, Becotide, Hammer Tissue Rejuvinate, Omega 3 x 2, Panadol Cold and Flu every 4 hours. So far all its achieved is to give me a hair trigger stomach, but I am remaining positive. As always. Can't you tell. It is taking me 15 mnutes just to take all my pills in the morning and it's bankrupting me, but if I can shift this flu and get back in the gym by tomorrow, it'll have been worth it.
I am hoping that this is the week I get back out and do a little hiking. This week is Chinese New Year, we're enterring the year of the rabbit (which sounds promising), so we get public holidays this Thursday and Friday. I am hoping it is to be my first weekend of hiking since the fracture. Nothing too tough, but having some fun exploring some of Hong Kongs further reaches and islands. I'll write a bit about the trails I go and explore next weekend. I think people who don't know Hong Kong are always surprised that there is more here than just the famous harbour front skyline.
As I have no training to write up on, I'm off back to my DVD boxset of series 2 of Mad Men. It's awesome, I cannot believe I have missed it up until now. Unfortunately it seems to come with a minimum of 4 Ferrero Rocher, and not an ambassador in sight. No one is spoiling me. I have no idea whether a ship went off course back in September, or whether the chinese are famous for their love of nutty chocolate, or perhaps parties at the embassy, or maybe they are 'Made in China'; but Ferrero Rocher are absolutely everywhere at the moment. Mountains of the buggers, just sitting there in their golden splendour, taunting me about my lack of running and how Mad Men just won't be as good without their chocolatey creamy goodness. I admit it, I have no willpower and with these Ferrero Rocher I am really spoiling myself. In more ways than one.
I'm not going to bother with the ometers until I can go a couple of weeks without being ill. I feel my potential victory in 2011's stationary bike world championships slipping away with every day I am flu bound at home, let alone completing the UTMB. So, in summary for January, in my quest to be an ultra king:
- Run 0 Kilometers
- Developed some nasty saddle sores
- 0 elevation gain, several pounds Ferrero Rocher gain
- Man flu
- The flu
- I have learned how to coiff my bush rather effectively.
So not all bad.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Fluffing the bush
19th January- Running in 2011- 0 Kilometres
Not really the figure I ws hoping for as I started out on the journey to my first hundred miler. I was sort of hoping I would be well on my way to being a leaner meaner trail running machiner by now, but instead the only exercise I am getting is through a combination of climbing the walls in frustration and my quest to become the fastest stationary cyclist in Hong Kong. I coverred 180k on the bike last week which is ok but nothing special.
I really cannot wait to be back outside but I don't want to risk the foot on the roads just yet. I think I could comfortably double the time I am cycling each week but I cannot get over the sheer boredom of sitting in a such a sterile environment for hours on end. I sit, legs a spinning, staring out the window at the trees (all 3 of them in central Hong Kong) shimmering in the yellow poluted haze. Ah, what I would give to be breathing the sweet soupy carbon monoxide again. The trees have to be nearby as visibility in Hong Kong is actually less than 8k for 30% of the time and they estimate that polution responsible for 90000 hospital admissions a year, and not a small number of premature deaths. And yet I'd give anything to be back out there in it. Odd. Maybe it's because I believe big Donald T (Tsang not Trump) who, in his efforts to sell Hong Kong to investors, tells us that as people live a long time in Hong Kong, we must have the best environment. Sod the scientific research, Don says it's ok! Whoo! Genius. I'm on Don's bus.
I think one of the major drivers to get my ass back outside is my failure to deal with what I can only describe as a culture clash that is starting to cause me a bit of anxiety. The local out and proud approach to nudity in the changing rooms is causing me some minor issues. Not because you don't get naked folks in the changing rooms back in Blightey. But rarely have I seen anyone stand naked, fluffing up their bush with a hairdryer at home. Here in Hong Kong it the standard practice. I can't get over how overwhelmingly proud some of the guys look when they see the volume they have created. And to be fair, there are some impressive bushes down there, I can attest, truly impressive feats of bushdome. I don't know if it is jealousy that generates this feling, my bush just doesn't compare, but it just seems so wrong. I've used those hairdryers for my head, the one sat on my neck. The thought that only moments before it could have been volumising another mans pubes just makes me feel uncomfortable. Even a little quesy.
I'd like to start a mini campaign to stop this practice. There's just no need. Keep it to the privacy of your own home, the unique bond between husband and wife, that's the place for such things. Not the hairdryer that I have to hold alarmingly close to my nose (which is not small). Please, I implore you old dudes of Hong Kong, it's not a sign of wealth and prosperity.
Anyway, I believe the draw for the Ultra Trail Du Mont Blanc (one of the qualifying criteria was a massive bush) took place on the 18th and I've not heard anything, This could certainly be simplifying my decision making on which hundred miler I'll be training for. Fingers crossed!!
So the ometers:
Likelihoodofpassingoutby60milesonamountainandcallingmymumintears-ometer- I'll have used up all my credit by 50 miles
Likelihoodofrunning50percentofthedistancesofotherpeoplewhoblogaboutultratraining-ometer- January 19th- Run 0 miles so far (I checked out Krupicka again, 180 miles... last week. Bloody hell. I have enterred the stationary bike world championships and am confident of placing.
Mondrian was a minimalist. Keep it in art.
Not really the figure I ws hoping for as I started out on the journey to my first hundred miler. I was sort of hoping I would be well on my way to being a leaner meaner trail running machiner by now, but instead the only exercise I am getting is through a combination of climbing the walls in frustration and my quest to become the fastest stationary cyclist in Hong Kong. I coverred 180k on the bike last week which is ok but nothing special.
I really cannot wait to be back outside but I don't want to risk the foot on the roads just yet. I think I could comfortably double the time I am cycling each week but I cannot get over the sheer boredom of sitting in a such a sterile environment for hours on end. I sit, legs a spinning, staring out the window at the trees (all 3 of them in central Hong Kong) shimmering in the yellow poluted haze. Ah, what I would give to be breathing the sweet soupy carbon monoxide again. The trees have to be nearby as visibility in Hong Kong is actually less than 8k for 30% of the time and they estimate that polution responsible for 90000 hospital admissions a year, and not a small number of premature deaths. And yet I'd give anything to be back out there in it. Odd. Maybe it's because I believe big Donald T (Tsang not Trump) who, in his efforts to sell Hong Kong to investors, tells us that as people live a long time in Hong Kong, we must have the best environment. Sod the scientific research, Don says it's ok! Whoo! Genius. I'm on Don's bus.
I think one of the major drivers to get my ass back outside is my failure to deal with what I can only describe as a culture clash that is starting to cause me a bit of anxiety. The local out and proud approach to nudity in the changing rooms is causing me some minor issues. Not because you don't get naked folks in the changing rooms back in Blightey. But rarely have I seen anyone stand naked, fluffing up their bush with a hairdryer at home. Here in Hong Kong it the standard practice. I can't get over how overwhelmingly proud some of the guys look when they see the volume they have created. And to be fair, there are some impressive bushes down there, I can attest, truly impressive feats of bushdome. I don't know if it is jealousy that generates this feling, my bush just doesn't compare, but it just seems so wrong. I've used those hairdryers for my head, the one sat on my neck. The thought that only moments before it could have been volumising another mans pubes just makes me feel uncomfortable. Even a little quesy.
I'd like to start a mini campaign to stop this practice. There's just no need. Keep it to the privacy of your own home, the unique bond between husband and wife, that's the place for such things. Not the hairdryer that I have to hold alarmingly close to my nose (which is not small). Please, I implore you old dudes of Hong Kong, it's not a sign of wealth and prosperity.
Anyway, I believe the draw for the Ultra Trail Du Mont Blanc (one of the qualifying criteria was a massive bush) took place on the 18th and I've not heard anything, This could certainly be simplifying my decision making on which hundred miler I'll be training for. Fingers crossed!!
So the ometers:
Likelihoodofpassingoutby60milesonamountainandcallingmymumintears-ometer- I'll have used up all my credit by 50 miles
Likelihoodofrunning50percentofthedistancesofotherpeoplewhoblogaboutultratraining-ometer- January 19th- Run 0 miles so far (I checked out Krupicka again, 180 miles... last week. Bloody hell. I have enterred the stationary bike world championships and am confident of placing.
Mondrian was a minimalist. Keep it in art.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Ever so slightly faster than average healing- call me wolverine
I imagined the following post:
"It's January the 13th, unlucky for some. But not me it would appear. Today was the day I confirmed that I am in fact Wolverine from the X-Men. Last Friday I had my fracture confirmed by the GP, today when the fracture doc phoned he says he can't find one. I'd always wanted super powers, but I can't say that 'slightly faster healer than average' was top of the list. I'd always hoped for amazing speed, strength or the men's favourite x-ray vision. But I guess I'll have to settle for healing quickly and at least it won't get me arrested".
Instead I had a fracture specialist telling me I couldn't run for another couple of weeks. The good new was that the fracture was minor, the bad news was I had no super powers. 'Are you sure', I said. 'Yes' he said. 'I am not wolverine then?', I said. 'No' he said. 'Whatever', I said.
It'll be a while before I can run but I can at least start to turn the legs over again on the bike in the gym (which I sort of started a few days ago, but would deny if the doctor asked). Lucky she is very accommodating. The doctor, not the bike. I am currently settled on 0 of 2 races that I have signed up for in Hong Kong this year in my preparation for the biggies in August. It's more than a little frustrating, but I have friends making their way through far worse injuries so I shouldn't complain. But I will most probably.
Last Sunday it was the second of this years North Face King of the Hills Series which I was really looking forward to trying out. I guess it's Hong Kong's most genuine 'mountain Marathon series' and for one reason or another I have never got round to entering. This year has been disrupted by the foot injury and also a bout of very severe man flu which meant I missed the first one. Man flu is regarded with a great deal of contempt by most women as they have never experienced it. Often they refer to it as the common cold. However, it is far more severe, possibly life threatening. I did actually die from it a couple of times, but being wolverine (the GP and specialist are in denial), I recovered well.
The King of the Hills races take in some of Hong Kong's more remote areas and lesser used paths. A lot of my friends whom I might call 'proper runners' rave about them. The series seems really popular this year with over a hundred doing the longer races and nearly 300 on the half. Great to see and really hoping I make it to at least one of them. We also have the Greenpower 50k Hike at the end of January, which of course has been adopted by the local runners to see who gets around quickest. Today's news means I can't take part so I'll probably go away for the weekend with the girlfriend (aka Korean Amy) as the following week is Chinese New year, every cloud and all that.
Good luck to all those doing the HK 100 this weekend, I'm thinking of popping over to see some of the runners pass by. Rumour has it that a couple of top ultra runners from far away lands are taking part so it'll be great to see.
So my weeks (well 2011's!) training so far:
January 1st-14th- An assortment of drugs that could take down an elephant, mainly anti inflammatory from the doctors, Hong Kong doctors love a drug or eight as a solution to most problems. So three times a day I am taking down a diclofenac, omega 3's, Hammer Tissue Rejuvenate, Vitamin C (for the man flu) and icing 3 times a day. I'm also trying to smash in as many veggies as possible, especially broccoli because that's what Lance did. And you can't argue with Lance.
The weeks training:
Monday- 30k very light resistance on the bike
Tuesday- 2 pinot noirs, 3 Cabernet sauvignons and a burger. Delicious. I was first to finish.
Wednesday- 40k very light resistance, resistance setting was lighter than tiger when a waitress knocks.
Thursday- 30k light. Lighter than a really light thing at midday on the lightest... whatever.
The ometers (or is it ometres) are back to monitor my weekly progress towards the big race (whichever that may be):
Likelihoodofpassingoutby60milesonamountainandcallingmymumintears-ometer- I'm entering her number in my phone as we speak. Mummy!
Likelihoodofrunning50percentofthedistancesofotherpeoplewhoblogaboutultratraining-ometer- January 14th- Run 0 miles so far. I have to pray that the organisers are ok with me trying to get round on a stationary bike.
Minimalism shiminalism. 5th metatarsals suck.
Vote on my survey. If you think this blog will save the world I'm with you. Like Bill and Ted.
"It's January the 13th, unlucky for some. But not me it would appear. Today was the day I confirmed that I am in fact Wolverine from the X-Men. Last Friday I had my fracture confirmed by the GP, today when the fracture doc phoned he says he can't find one. I'd always wanted super powers, but I can't say that 'slightly faster healer than average' was top of the list. I'd always hoped for amazing speed, strength or the men's favourite x-ray vision. But I guess I'll have to settle for healing quickly and at least it won't get me arrested".
Instead I had a fracture specialist telling me I couldn't run for another couple of weeks. The good new was that the fracture was minor, the bad news was I had no super powers. 'Are you sure', I said. 'Yes' he said. 'I am not wolverine then?', I said. 'No' he said. 'Whatever', I said.
It'll be a while before I can run but I can at least start to turn the legs over again on the bike in the gym (which I sort of started a few days ago, but would deny if the doctor asked). Lucky she is very accommodating. The doctor, not the bike. I am currently settled on 0 of 2 races that I have signed up for in Hong Kong this year in my preparation for the biggies in August. It's more than a little frustrating, but I have friends making their way through far worse injuries so I shouldn't complain. But I will most probably.
Last Sunday it was the second of this years North Face King of the Hills Series which I was really looking forward to trying out. I guess it's Hong Kong's most genuine 'mountain Marathon series' and for one reason or another I have never got round to entering. This year has been disrupted by the foot injury and also a bout of very severe man flu which meant I missed the first one. Man flu is regarded with a great deal of contempt by most women as they have never experienced it. Often they refer to it as the common cold. However, it is far more severe, possibly life threatening. I did actually die from it a couple of times, but being wolverine (the GP and specialist are in denial), I recovered well.
The King of the Hills races take in some of Hong Kong's more remote areas and lesser used paths. A lot of my friends whom I might call 'proper runners' rave about them. The series seems really popular this year with over a hundred doing the longer races and nearly 300 on the half. Great to see and really hoping I make it to at least one of them. We also have the Greenpower 50k Hike at the end of January, which of course has been adopted by the local runners to see who gets around quickest. Today's news means I can't take part so I'll probably go away for the weekend with the girlfriend (aka Korean Amy) as the following week is Chinese New year, every cloud and all that.
Good luck to all those doing the HK 100 this weekend, I'm thinking of popping over to see some of the runners pass by. Rumour has it that a couple of top ultra runners from far away lands are taking part so it'll be great to see.
So my weeks (well 2011's!) training so far:
January 1st-14th- An assortment of drugs that could take down an elephant, mainly anti inflammatory from the doctors, Hong Kong doctors love a drug or eight as a solution to most problems. So three times a day I am taking down a diclofenac, omega 3's, Hammer Tissue Rejuvenate, Vitamin C (for the man flu) and icing 3 times a day. I'm also trying to smash in as many veggies as possible, especially broccoli because that's what Lance did. And you can't argue with Lance.
The weeks training:
Monday- 30k very light resistance on the bike
Tuesday- 2 pinot noirs, 3 Cabernet sauvignons and a burger. Delicious. I was first to finish.
Wednesday- 40k very light resistance, resistance setting was lighter than tiger when a waitress knocks.
Thursday- 30k light. Lighter than a really light thing at midday on the lightest... whatever.
The ometers (or is it ometres) are back to monitor my weekly progress towards the big race (whichever that may be):
Likelihoodofpassingoutby60milesonamountainandcallingmymumintears-ometer- I'm entering her number in my phone as we speak. Mummy!
Likelihoodofrunning50percentofthedistancesofotherpeoplewhoblogaboutultratraining-ometer- January 14th- Run 0 miles so far. I have to pray that the organisers are ok with me trying to get round on a stationary bike.
Minimalism shiminalism. 5th metatarsals suck.
Vote on my survey. If you think this blog will save the world I'm with you. Like Bill and Ted.
Monday, January 3, 2011
2011 races and a fractured foot
My 2011 new years resolution is to dominate the global ultra scene, so I have created this blog to chart my training progress over the next seven months as I aim for my first 100 miler. I'll be aiming to complete one of either the ultra trail du mont blanc (UTMB to all of us in the know) or the Leadville Trail 100 in the Colorado Rockies.
Should anyone actually read this, you'll understand from the title of this blog that it is not 100% serious, for my quest is to be the greatest blogger in the ultra world as opposed to runner. As talent is absent, humour has to be in abundance. If I don't laugh at myself, others will do it for me. The title of this blog is in reference to two of the greatest ultramarathoners in the world, Dean Karnazes (for promoting the sport) and Tony Krupicka (for being my hero in the sport). Check out their blogs if you want an understanding of the level of training required to be at the top. Keep reading if you want to understand the level of training required to be at the bottom.
The facts of the matter are that I am a bit shit at running. I spent the majority of the last race I did (2010's Atacama Crossing) residing in the medical tent each evening, struggling to rehydrate after a serious bout of the runs (depositing on the desert as opposed to traversing across it unfortunately). It was passing through the eye of a needle. Despite this, I am back for more. My dad pased away three months ago and to help myself keep on keeping on, and to support a couple of chariddies I've decided to tackle one of the toughest ultra experiences, the 100 miler. Not only that, I am determined to run the bugger, even if it kills me. Which it might.
2011 started brilliantly, a bloody great hangover, a 20k hike with the girlfriend and then I fractured my ankle. Forgetting I am a bit fat and that I am in fact not Tony Krupicka or a tarahumarra indian, I bough a pair of New Balance MT101's as a nod towards the minimalist movement sweeping the globe. Essentially the argument is that modern trainers were created by the devil himself and you will go to hell if you wear them, as well as possibly destroy the world. At least I think that is what I read in 'born to run'. Great book, but perhaps a little sensationalist. Anyway, I went on a hike to test them out. I have to say, very comfortable until I hit a rock and fractured my ankle. Very comfortable. Lesson number one learned. I am not an ultrarunner, in fact, technically, by body weight I am two. So I shall go back to chunky supported trainers and accept that I am going to hell.
As I train for the run and generally live the life in Hong Kong, I'll aim to post on here fairly often. The focus will be broad and varied, the training will be limited, the fun will be had and most importantly of all, the humour will never be lost.
Happy New Year, good will to all men (Down with the minimalist movement, bring me padding and support).
Should anyone actually read this, you'll understand from the title of this blog that it is not 100% serious, for my quest is to be the greatest blogger in the ultra world as opposed to runner. As talent is absent, humour has to be in abundance. If I don't laugh at myself, others will do it for me. The title of this blog is in reference to two of the greatest ultramarathoners in the world, Dean Karnazes (for promoting the sport) and Tony Krupicka (for being my hero in the sport). Check out their blogs if you want an understanding of the level of training required to be at the top. Keep reading if you want to understand the level of training required to be at the bottom.
The facts of the matter are that I am a bit shit at running. I spent the majority of the last race I did (2010's Atacama Crossing) residing in the medical tent each evening, struggling to rehydrate after a serious bout of the runs (depositing on the desert as opposed to traversing across it unfortunately). It was passing through the eye of a needle. Despite this, I am back for more. My dad pased away three months ago and to help myself keep on keeping on, and to support a couple of chariddies I've decided to tackle one of the toughest ultra experiences, the 100 miler. Not only that, I am determined to run the bugger, even if it kills me. Which it might.
2011 started brilliantly, a bloody great hangover, a 20k hike with the girlfriend and then I fractured my ankle. Forgetting I am a bit fat and that I am in fact not Tony Krupicka or a tarahumarra indian, I bough a pair of New Balance MT101's as a nod towards the minimalist movement sweeping the globe. Essentially the argument is that modern trainers were created by the devil himself and you will go to hell if you wear them, as well as possibly destroy the world. At least I think that is what I read in 'born to run'. Great book, but perhaps a little sensationalist. Anyway, I went on a hike to test them out. I have to say, very comfortable until I hit a rock and fractured my ankle. Very comfortable. Lesson number one learned. I am not an ultrarunner, in fact, technically, by body weight I am two. So I shall go back to chunky supported trainers and accept that I am going to hell.
As I train for the run and generally live the life in Hong Kong, I'll aim to post on here fairly often. The focus will be broad and varied, the training will be limited, the fun will be had and most importantly of all, the humour will never be lost.
Happy New Year, good will to all men (Down with the minimalist movement, bring me padding and support).
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